i was massaging mama since she said her whole body was aching.while trying my best to try and ease her pain,i shed a tear or two. i got reminded of how she struggled and is still struggling to put me till where i am here today.mama,i know you don't even know i have a blog but i just want you to know that i will make you proud one day and i will take care of you when you are old.insya'allah.
it was good just chatting with her. we talked about kakak and abang.thaqif too. then she asked about haris.it was just a random question i guess. then she asked me if i was dating/seeing anyone. i told her i just simply gave up on boys. cause the one i like/love never did feel the same way,the ones i don't want are always coming to me.

if you have my facebook account, you will see the annoying and irritating boys that are just pain the ass. i have stalkers,desperate men and just stupid mfs/players floating in my whole life. okay back to the story,i've digressed quite abit.

i think i want to start mengaji balik. you know, recite the al quran again.i want to be grounded back to HIM. so i enquired with mama to ask for cik linda's ngaji days cause she has someone to come over her house for her kids to ngaji.i might do it on mondays.

well,i had a good partying night yesterday and today was just a lepak day at home and tuition at cik linda's house. i was supposed to meet the n.e.w clans but i skipped cause i felt like being at home.watching tv.

well,he called me tadi and we talked for some time. tak sangka pandai jugak dier tahu,statuses fb adelah untuk dier. and i finally said that i felt used to him. i guessed he did try to explain but errrmmmmmmmmmmmmm......... words are cheap mister.and i just brushed it aside cause i can't remember what he said just now. you keep using work as an excuse, semua orang pun keje la geng.semua orang pun penat. it just that you lack effort. i actually felt cheap you know. you had the free time on tuesday since it was your offday but did you reply me? nope. and you got the cheek to tell me that i kept quiet? all said and done,i've gave my best shot.
da on balik tadi.sekarang off balik. besok boring2 on balik okay. i said my feelings.i said i missed you. cause you know what. you like the idea of someone to fall back on when everything else fails.

someone whom im close to online and has been friends with me eversince i was with haris,and she was with aiman.said this:"u cant expect aniting out of their speech/taklimat/khutbah/ceramah etc etc.cakap tk serupa bikin.kalo ko rasa ko bleh tunjukan si dolmat tu dia bakal jadi doormat..den by all means"
another said this: "stay away from him.i don't like the way he treats you.i don't like him."


i know you are not doing anything with anyone but a little assurance of what you feel would be GREATLY APRRECIATED. PAHAM?
eh fuck,imy.
i hope friday would be a good day for me.i be meeting gula for lunch after i settle my school stuffs and then off to try and surprise syedbb since he is booking out later. anws, goodnight sayangs.